Paul Kightlinger

Paul E. Kightlinger A Life Story Tribute

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
- 2 Timothy 4:7

Paul E. Kightlinger lived as a Christian, mentor, friend, teacher, a consummate funeral director and embalmer, and a loving husband and father. A true gentleman, quiet in words, steadfast in actions, Paul's life was a long testimony of faith working through love. Those who knew him speak first of his kindness and integrity; those who worked with him speak of his steady hand, exacting standards, and generous heart; and those who worshiped with him saw a man who served the church in every season, from the board room to the nursery rocking chair.

Roots, Family, and the Stories That Shaped Him

Paul was the eldest child of Harvey Eugene Kightlinger and Mary Elizabeth (Grunst) Kightlinger, brother to Mary and to Harvey Albert ("Hal"). His love for family and his knack for storytelling can be heard in the way he once wrote about his baby brother, equal parts humor and affection. He remembered childhood ball games in backyards and cow pastures, winter basketball with a tennis ball and a barrel hoop in the basement, and the kind of mischief that makes brothers laugh for a lifetime. In a favorite memory, he described Hal leaping from a hayloft, gripping the corners of a blanket because his big brother had promised it would open "like a parachute." The landing went exactly as you'd expect and then they tried again. That was the Kightlinger spirit: laugh, learn, try again, and love each other through it.

Paul's stories always circled back to devotion. He admired Hal's faithfulness to their mother after their father died, to Pam, Paul’s then future wife, when she was finishing school and Paul measured his own life by that same standard of care. In his words about Hal, Paul closed with the old poem The Touch of the Master's Hand, a picture of how the Lord makes a life sing. It was more than a metaphor to Paul; it was the way he understood his own life, an ordinary instrument made beautiful by the Master's touch.

A Love Story: Paul and Pam

Paul met Pam at Wheaton College, drawn to each other through music and faith. After their very first date, which appropriately was going to church, Paul called his parents to say he had met the girl he would marry. They did marry, and across forty-seven years they walked as one. Pam and Paul were best friends and totally devoted to each other. In Paul's tribute to Pam, written after her passing, he told their story with tenderness: Pam had trusted Christ early, served the Lord at the organ since age ten, and later walked a long path with rheumatoid arthritis without grumbling-thankful always that God allowed her to keep making music. Together they adopted John, and no matter how life ebbed and flowed, the love and the prayers never ceased.

Paul ended Pam's story with an invitation for her friends to join her in eternal life. That same invitation belongs in Paul's story, because their marriage was always about more than two people, it was about two pilgrims pointing each other, and everyone around them, to the Savior who holds them both now. In this sense, Paul and Pam's love story hasn't ended; it has simply changed address.

After Pam's passing, life was hard for Paul. When her beloved dog Schroder died as well, everyone worried about him even more. Then, not long after, Paul adopted two basset hound puppies-Tucker and Higgins. When they were little, he often brought them to work. Their long ears and clumsy paws sometimes tripped him, but those two puppies brought a spark of joy back into Paul's life. The sight of him with his puppies was a reminder that even in grief, God can send unexpected comfort wrapped in fur and floppy ears.

Faith in Action: Fifty Years of Church and Service

Paul measured time at Faith Bible Church not in years but in service. "In August of next year, Pam and I would have been identified with the body of Faith Bible Church for fifty years," he once wrote. "Now it is just me!" What followed was a roll call of humble labor and holy joy:  "I believe I have served four terms as a deacon... I have unstopped toilets, cleaned up all kinds of messes in all kinds of places, plastered, painted, planted, ushered, walked the halls during services (security), etc., etc., etc.... I have sung in the men's choir, served on the worship committee, the missions committee, the finance committee... taught Adult Sunday School Classes... been on numerous pastoral search teams... I celebrated (I use the word advisedly) my fortieth birthday in my first year as an elder. I am seventy-seven years old and I am still an elder... I am working in the nursery currently, mainly rocking babies! It is an absolute joy!"

This is Paul: part leader, part caretaker, part singer and teacher, wholly servant. He even wrote and directed plays, Christmas dramas, summers, dinner theaters, because he was convinced that good stories open the heart to the Gospel.

Work of His Hands: Vocation as Calling

Paul's vocation was both craft and calling. He graduated Garden City High School, studied two years at Detroit Bible College, two at Wheaton College earning a bachelors in English, and then completed his degree at the Dallas Institute of Mortuary Science. At Wheaton, he also played defensive tackle on the college football team, carrying with him the discipline and camaraderie of the sport into every area of his life. He was later honored as a member of the mortuary fraternity Pi Sigma Eta.

Even before funeral service, Paul learned the dignity of doing every job, sweeping floors and running machines at Brooks & Perkins Magnesium Fabricators, stocking shelves and managing nights at Danny's Foods. He carried that ethic into funeral service. His apprenticeship at Santieu & Sons Funeral Home (Garden City, MI) was thorough, 60 embalming cases and 10 funeral arrangements-and he did whatever the day required: working the parking lot, washing cars, mowing grass, shoveling snow, vacuuming, painting, assisting with services. In Texas, he began a 27-year run at Laurel Land Funeral Home in Dallas, embalmer, funeral director, shift leader, assistant manager, interim manager. He helped guide the growth from roughly 300 funerals a year to more than 1,200, not through shortcuts, but by a simple conviction: "Take care of each family as if they were the only call you had, and they will take care of you."

In 2001 he was asked to serve as General Manager of David Clayton & Sons Funeral Home and Little Bethel Memorial Park in Duncanville, overseeing both funeral home and cemetery operations. After 34+ years with Stewart Enterprises, he resigned in 2009, continued serving as a contract director/embalmer, and later spent two years at Brown's Memorial Funeral Home in Irving.

The Hughes Years - A Keeper of the Craft

In 2012, Paul came to Hughes Family Tribute Center on a temporary basis so DeWayne and Stephanie Hughes could take a vacation. He never left. He kept embalming, helping with services, and then, with a smile and a question to Pete Guevara "do you think they ever plan on hiring me?", he found his professional home. He was hired that day.
The funeral home was growing quickly, and Paul became its steadying heart. Some called his methods "old school"; Paul called them the right way. He taught apprentices and young directors the proper, dignified art of embalming-how to restore, how to honor, how to make sure each person looked the very best they possibly could. Paul had a signature line for every nervous student: "Relax, there's nothing you can do that I can't fix." Those words gave confidence, but what he really taught was deeper. He changed their hearts-teaching respect for the deceased, respect for fellow team members, and respect for themselves.

Paul also carried a spiritual gentleness into the workplace. He prayed at company meals and events with such grace, fully aware that not everyone listening knew the Lord-and his deepest wish was always that they would.

The Friend, the Mentor, the Gentleman

Paul's friendships crossed generations. Monica, wife of his colleague Pete, wrote:

"Paul was my friend. Though he was much older than me, our friendship was one of kindness and mutual respect. We shared thoughts, traded stories, and often talked about books and dogs, simple things that revealed how much he cared and listened. Paul was a man of few words, but his actions spoke volumes. He was generous and thoughtful, always mindful of others. He loved Pam dearly... He had a dark humor that could catch you off guard, but beneath it was a steady faith in Christ that guided him through life. Paul was a leader, a man who truly fought the good fight. What I admired most was how children were drawn to him. He let his silly side show with them, and it was a joy to see. I will always be grateful for his friendship."

That's the portrait you hear again and again: a man both steady and playful, principled and kind, whose humor could land unexpectedly and whose faith never wavered. Around children he let the silliness out; around grieving families he brought calm; around apprentices he brought patience; and around the church he brought willing hands and a shepherd's heart. He was, in the best and old-fashioned sense of the word, a gentleman.

A Life That Points Beyond Itself

Paul once joked about the "ad nauseum" list of church tasks he'd done. But beneath the humor was a clear theology of work and worship: love God, love people, serve wherever you are needed. That included the quiet heroics, unlocking doors, cleaning messes, tightening bolts, and rocking babies, no less than chairing boards and teaching classes. He believed, simply, that faithfulness in the small things honors the Lord just as surely as the big.

So, when Scripture says, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith," it lands on Paul's life with a familiar ring. He fought the good fight with perseverance through decades of service. He finished the race with integrity, never cutting corners in his craft or his character. He kept the faith, through the grief of laying Pam to rest, through the aches of age, through the ordinary Tuesdays of doing what needed to be done.

Paul's deepest desire reflected the closing lines of Pam's story: that those he loved would join them in the presence of Christ. He would want this tribute to be more than memory, to be an invitation, bright with hope. If you hear Paul's voice in these pages, hear it pointing where it always pointed: to Jesus.
With Love and Gratitude

Paul is survived by his sister Mary, son John Kightlinger, grandchildren Montana Ehrlich, Morgana Kightlinger, Taliesin Kightlinger, Arwen Kightlinger, Sephira Kightlinger, Rowan Kightlinger, and great granddaughters MaKenna and Alice Kightlinger; along with a wide circle of friends, colleagues, and his beloved Faith Bible Church family. He passed away with his son John and his best friend Dave Fournie by his side on Saturday, September 6, 2025. He rejoices in heaven with his beloved Pam, his parents and his brother.

To all who loved him: thank you for loving a man who gave so much of himself to God and to others. May the Lord grant us grace to follow the bright trail Paul and Pam left behind, a trail of kindness and love, courage and compassion, humor and inspiration, joy and faith, until we, too, finally join them.